Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Wind has no Destination

Holy fuck balls....has it been that long since I've updated?! I deserve a spanking. Yes! A spanking! And then the oral sex!! (yay Monty Python reference. I'm a nerd...but hot. You want me.)

Coming soon to The Blog:
  • Vikings
  • Metal
  • Sex
  • Porn
  • Christmas
  • Retail
  • Maybe a review
Stay tuned. <3

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Happy Hump Day #6


Good God I've been a horrible blogger. And know why? Cause I'm lazy. Its that simple. I could pull some excuse out of my sweet, sweet ass like; "I was busy", and I will. Well I was ok!! I was busy beating Plants vs Zombies (OMG SO MUCH FUN), working retail during THE HOLIDAY SEASON (shoot me in the face), trying to keep some sort of order of the house, AND somehow have a social life. On top of all that I was dumb and agreed to work extra hours and Thanksgiving day. But I get time in a half, a gift card, and they provide lunch. Yay money!!

So can you forgive me world? Would you feel better if I posted some hot pics and things to make you giggle? Yeah? Ok then, I will.









Click photos to make em bigger. Durh. And have a Happy Hump Day!

Oh and P.S: STAR TREK!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Thursday, November 5, 2009

Happy Hump Day #5

No, you didn't miss out on Hump Day. I didn't write one. Why? Cause I'm a lazy hoe, thats why. On my Hump Day I: worked 8 hours or retail and unpacked freight, cleaned the house, received cramps that feel like I'm being kicked by a horse, witnessed SNOW FLURRIES, wore green pants, and wrote an epic novel. Well the last one isn't true...but it rounded out the sentence well.

While working I was thinking of blog entries I could do, daydreaming of getting fucked 6 ways to Sunday, and how I should make up for not doing a Hump Day. My friend Pretty Lady has to be one of my most quoted friends. The stuff she thinks up! Classics I tell you. Well maybe not classics, but they crack me up. And since I'm the sharing type I saved a few quotes from her JUST FOR YOU. Because I CARE.

  • "I just tried to remember what I did in elementary through most of high school, and I can't. WTF. I wasn't even drinking then"
  • "Oh no!! I'm so sorry!! I spilled coke on your dog!!!" (maybe not funny to you but it's my blog and it was fucking hilarious at the time. Fuck you, it still is!)
  • "Golfers, oh golfers, when you let your Bloody Marys slosh into the cupholders and over the dash of the cart and it proceeds to creep into every pore and crevasse and crease and solidify in this chill, flecked with pepper and studded with bits of dill pickle and celery, I fight back the urge to use this industrial-strength cleaner on your irises. Just so you know."
  • "I get jealous of the people in the Trojan commercials...with their fake sex. I think I will fall into a deep depression. A sex depression. Depresexion."
  • "Lonely Vagina Syndrome. Symptoms include: mood swings, irritability, sexual aggression, and poor life choices. Eventual death." (I also recommend you stay sober when you have LVS)

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Sexy Saturday #7: Halloween Special

I don't know about you, but I have had a shitty week. Work, personal problems, physical problems, money, family, blah blah. But none of that compares to the loss of a baby boy. Preggers, one of my best girl friends, became a mother this week. She gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on Wednesday. He was stillborn. Nothing can express the sadness I have for her and her husband. But life goes on, they're doing ok. Home and trying for normalcy.

And thats what I should be doing. I'm sad, she is the closest thing to a sister that I have, (I'm an only child) and I would have loved to be an Aunt. Next time right?

But back to the old routiene! Cause after all, tomorrow is another day! Not only is today Sexy Saturday, but it's Halloween!!! My favorite holiday, always has been. After working for a few hours (in costume) Pretty Lady and I plan on driving down to Columbus for some fun times. Drinks, dancing, live band, corset, heals, witch costume...good times will be had. I'll tweet and maybe post some pics!

This Sexy Saturday, being on a holiday and all, I attempted to find something really cool. Maybe I should have saved Zombie Porn for today... if it makes you feel better you should run over to Burning Angel and watch Dong of the Dead. But this week's photo comes from my favorite photographer on dA (who thinks I'm adorable) Michael Helms.

Shai is so long and lean looking, shes perfect for an elf. Love love LOVE the way the sun is filtering through the cloak. She makes me like elves...cause honestly I'm not a fan. (Dagorhir people who know me will understand)

So no, the photo isn't bloody, or raunchy, or typical, or traditional. I still find it approate for Halloween tho! Some other great themed photos in their Daily Deviations today.



Have a happy and SAFE Halloween everyone!!! And as always....Click links to artists and models! Don't be a douche and steal photos!!!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Happy Hump Day #4

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009. Yet again another hump day. But I can’t really call this Wednesday a bad day. This week has yet to truly suck. Sure some things went down…but that happens. I’m staying positive.

Why doesn’t this Wednesday suck you ask? Because I had 4 days off, including Monday. I spent my weekend with Preggers, Pretty Lady, Soldier Boy and my family. Dinners, movies, light shopping, playing and becoming obsessed with Fable II on Xbox (I now officially need a Xbox). I squeezed as much good times in my mini vacation as I could. So when I went back to work on Tuesday, in the afternoon, it didn’t suck. It was like Monday…but a it came on a non-shitty Tuesday afternoon. Ya know? Does that make sense? Maybe not…either way it didn’t suck. But I work retail, and our late hours start November 1st. Now THAT sucks. But that should mean more hours for me, which equals more money, which equals me not becoming a Lady of the Night. I know you’re disappointed.

For those who are having a shitty week…I’m sorry. Let me provide a little comic relief. Yes I know nudes and/or tits would make it better…but….too bad! That’s a Saturday thing.

So as you know I'm an Ohio girl. And I'm one of the few that actually loves living in Ohio. I live in rural Ohio, with all the Amish. Pimp...I know. So when I saw this, I lol'd cause it so very true. The rest of her stuff is pretty damn awesome. Check her gallery out on DevientART.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Sexy Saturday #6

So I'm sure you heard that the lovely, talented, bedroom eyed, raven haired, great assed, smokin' hot Sasha Gray has been named Genesis' #1 Pornstar on their Porn Top 100 listy doo-dad. I think I approve of their choice. I enjoy watching Sasha do her thing on camera, I especially like her tweets and the new stuff shes coming up with her own production company.

With all that in mind why not jump on the band wagon and make her my Sexy Saturday huh? I planned on it eventually. Ya see I found this awesome gif....

Sasha

Yeah dude. I love her expression, same one I get when in a headlock getting ass fucked. Ya see why shes number one? If you don't...whatever fuck you.

I really need and want to see The Girlfriend Experience. I hear good things...

Let me tell you something...

I'm happy despite this pit of depression. I choose to behave or not to; choose when I'm a good girl or a bad girl. I choose peace over "war" because I can't stand any more betrayal and pain. I rely and trust in no one cause I learn from my mistakes; and yet everyone rely and trust in me. I choose the hard way when something simple is standing in front of me, with hands groping for me, reaching out for me, because I'm stubborn and hopeless. I wait for it patiently, but complain all the while. I run wild, but always come home to you and my own bed; whether you're there keeping it warm or its cold once again. I'm random when it's appropriate. I follow up but don't follow through. I write in sharpie but carry white-out. I'm loved but alone. Alone but not lonely. Forgiving but not forgetful. I'm your dream girl but I'll never be yours. The best you'll ever have and never get all of it ever again. I live every moment, enjoying the little ones, so that when the big one comes along I'll know how to react. I'm not fucked up, you are. And life is too simple and short to stand so still.

Deal with it friend, love me as I love you, don't let go, and enjoy my ride.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Hump Day #3; The Good, The Bad, and My 99 Problems

Bad Shit: My body hurts from working so much (I need better shoes), I need to get fucked like a desperate $2 crack-head hooker (no offence to $2 crack-head hookers), I feel as though I'm coming down with a cold (thank you retail), I'm poor as FUCK (God damn student loans), My room is a mess and my OCD is about to kick in.

Good Shit: The sun is shinning, I am loved and adored, Ohio is having an Indian Summer, I've been getting good hours at work, Halloween fun-ness looks promising, and I have at least 3 days off coming up. I'll be getting a real weekend!! I can clean!! But I know I won't be getting laid. Can't get everything you want, right?

So Wednesday...middle of the week...Hump Day on my blog. What laugh am I providing you? It goes along with my little rant. I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one! Word...

99 problems


I lul'd

Friday, October 16, 2009

Sexy Saturday #5

Oh Sexy Saturdays...you come and go too quickly. It always seem to be the problem huh...I know I've had my share with something coming too quickly. This time I'm actually early. By a few minutes.

Well I've had a simple, disappointing and yet fun week. So what did I pick for this weeks feature? Something that reflects this week (simple, disappointing and yet fun).

How is it simple you ask? Well...look at it. Its one girl licking another. Its a tease. Sure, there must be more to it but unless you have sauce (the movie/clip from whence this came from) its a a simple, and disappointing tease! See what I did thar? I love that I found this, but disappointed that I don't have the full clip. I'm intrigued...wants to see more! And yes...its a fun lil gif. I giggled when I clicked it. BTW...chick the pic to see it move. ;-)



So there you have it. Sexy Saturday. One girl licking another. Sure got me frisky!

I'll be in my bunk....

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Hump Day #2

Happy Hump Day!!! *humps air*

Mine sucked balls! Thats cause Wednesday always sucks. Plans fell through, long work day, it's fucking cold, I have nothing clean, nothing fits (at least its too big vs too small). But I have the next few days off. I'll make this week not suck. I'm determined.

So this made me laugh yesterday...I watched it this eve when I got home from my long ass work day of unpacking freight. You will laugh too. Thanks to my friend Rooster.

Sweet lemonade, yes sweet lemonade.

CLICK DA LINK!! WATCH IT!! FULL OF WIN!!!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Sexy Saturday #4

I did it again...lets just pretend that Sunday is Saturday. That means you get a whole extra day of weekend! You have my permission to get drunk tonight and sleep it off tomorrow. If you get fired for not going into work tomorrow, don't blame me. Cause I'll be at work like a responsible adult. So even though I had Friday and Saturday off, I work today. Which is ok, Sundays in retail (in Hickville at least) last from 12-5. On top of working all week, I've been helping Preggers with a local theater production. Small small SMALL show, I'm helping with lights and pushing the "play" button on the CD player. But I got to have some fun with an old friend who came into town. Got a lil silly...played some silly guitar hero. I'm no good at it drunk...

Ok...done rambling. On to the sex. No sex for me. Its been almost 2 months. I'm being a good girl...it sucks. But this girl had sex! You can tell. Why? Cause theres cum all over her face...jeeze...

I found this photo while looking for new wallpaper for my new(ish) laptop. (fuck yeah laptop for $25!) And I found this. Instantly saved it. Because I'm a horny, dirty, sick, twisted, adorable lady. And you like it.

Its a great photo dudes, looks greats as your desktop wallpaper. I have new obsession about porn and/or erotic photos in black and white. The lack of color makes them less dirty. Don't ask...just accept that its true. Believe it or not, her eyes were the first thing that I saw. So wide and open, you know she isn't gun shy. Not only is this a fucking hot photo, its a beautifully shaded. The lights and darks, the shadows on her face...reminds me of that morning BJ. Warm morning sun streaming across naked bodies, falling back asleep afterwords, waking up and making some breakfast. mmmm....


I think I'm finished here. =)

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Hump Day #1

Ah yes...Wednesday. Hump Day if you will. The day "full of woe". Named for the Norse god Woden, and the Roman god Mercury. Ok...I'll stop with the history lesson, you can read about it here.

I learned (yesterday, but its just now setting in) that Solder Boy is going off to war in about a year. Next weekend he go through mobilization training and before you know it he'll be playing medic with infantry up in Northern Afghanistan. I am not a happy camper. Yes, I know we're not a couple anymore, but he'll always have that little bit of my heart. He is my best friend and first love. No one else knows me better than him right now. I don't even want to think about what happens if...

Anywho, since wednesday is known to be a Debbie Downer I thought I'd post something fun and uplifting. And since Zaccy the Soldier Boy is leaving in a year (it will fly by) I went with a military theme.

P.S: I'm a dirty, liberal, hippie (which Zac makes fun of, its amusing, but I shower thus am attractive). War is bad, but I love our soldiers. And I love this website.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Sexy Saturday #3 Zombie Dick!!!!

So guess who forgot that today is Sunday, making yesterday Saturday, and that day when I usually pre-write sexy Saturdays posts, aka Friday, was spent with her girlfriends watching Across the Universe and playing Guitar Hero.

I'm a very bad girl...I'm late a day. And since I'm a bad, bad, girl I'll feature a dirty, nasty, filthy, and slightly disturbing photos I found somewhere anonymous.

I guess these photos show my fucked up side. I saw these and my brain 'sploded. My mind said "These are fuuuuuucked up!!" and my body said "These are HOT! Touch yourself. Now...do it you slut!" And I did. And I saved the photos for later use.

Those Japanese and their dirty Henti. Zombie sex?! Well, some is sex, some is rape. What do you expect! They're zombies. It makes it that much more fucked up and hot. I like to think that they're moaning about vagina instead of brains. Maybe they end up eating vag THEN brains...this is something ponder. I'm diggin the "armor". Its obvious that the ladies were sent to fight the huge dicked zombies, failed, and ended up gettin their pussies stuffed with zombie cock. If I could get a hold of the actual movie or comic I would soooooo love to have it. (sauce plox) Number five is my favorite. heehee....






Saturday, September 26, 2009

Sexy Saturday #2

Its Saturday y'all! That means I'm at work instead of enjoying my weekend like you people with your normal careers. Workin 9 to 5. What a way to make a living... (love me some Dolly).

Any who...with everyone out of town this weekend, and my old booty call no longer my booty call; I'm stuck home (as we know) having fun with Pablo, Gino and the unnamed Blue Dude. Who I broke. I guess that brand doesn't like the way I fuck. With all this this week's photo is super sexy. Last week's was beautiful, soft, and erotic. This week makes me lick my lips with dirty thoughts and dirty memories. You don't see faces, no identity, they're anonymous. Makes it that much more sexy. She's his little slut, she'll do anything for him without a complaint. All she wants to do is please. And when she does, she gets pleasure in return. The pain makes it that much more intense.

Fuck people, this photo is borderline raunchy. And I love it.
Photo was found from one of my dirty followers: SevenInchDick

Friday, September 25, 2009

Is it something so good, Just can't function no more?

Everyone else in the world is having fun this weekend but me. It true. I'm not being "emo"...I'm being gosh honestly truthful. Whats going on this weekend you ask? Some bad ass things yo!

There shows and concerts in the Cleveland area that I could be at, some in Columbus as well. Looking sexy in the crowd at some dive bar, moshing in the pit with a bunch of sweaty dudes, getting a little tipsy and going home to have more sweaty fun with that special dude between the sheets. Then wake up at 2pm, make some mother-fuckin pancakes and be lazy for the rest of the day. Bitchin.

I could be at The Ohio Renaissance Faire impressing all the lads and lasses with my ample bosom spilling forth from my corset. Sporting my leather corset, all my fancy flair, jingling throughout the ground spending money on cool, geeky, Renn Faire stuff. I love the attention, people watching, shopping, the shows. I need to get there...I could live there...I should work there! Would be so sweet.

Or I could be with the rest of The Militia in Pennsylvania at The Battle of Badon Hill. Camping, battles, drinking, friends, sex. All things I require and crave as of now. In that order. I haven't been to an event or seen my Dag buddies since Ragnarok. That was in June people...these are some of the best friends I have. They're my family. My big...sexy...messed up...violent...drunk...cuddly...incestuous family. Heh...dirty.

If I had money I'd be at Exxotica having a hot, sexy, wet, hard, sweaty, blasty blast. I'm super jealous of those there right now. We'll leave it at that.

All in all, people I know are getting laid this weekend and I'm home in Ohio. Getting over some kind of sickness, working retail, mowing the lawn, doing laundry, cleaning house, practicing my domestic duties, going to a (hopefully non-lame) baby shower. And most of all missing him.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Don't shrug your shoulders, lay down beside me.

Don't cha hate it when you wake up early, believing you had things to do before having to go to work at 1:00pm til 8:30pm, and only after you rush around to get ready do you find out that they've been canceled and you could have slept in? And you're sick? And horny? Have a headache? And there is something crawling around in your walls? And its raining? And your black pants are no longer black?

Its not even noon yet...

I have tomorrow and the next day off. Something cool has GOT to happen. I will be angry.

Mondays can eat me...at least this one can.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Sexy Saturdays!

Would you hate it if I post pointless random shit in this like I do on Twitter? I feel like I should update more but nothing happens in this tiny ass town. I'm sure you all care about my random thoughts.

I think I'm getting sick...I'm not happy about this. Working retail doesn't help. But lets be positive!! I'm alive, I'm loved, and I have a job.

So its Saturday. I proclaim Saturday in my blog as Sexy Photo Of The Week! ....day. Could be male, or female, a mix, or both! Who knows what I'm gonna find and how I'm feeling.

So lets kick it off with one of my favorite photographers that I found on Deviant Art. Michael Helms. (I beg you, click on his name and view his gallery. Some are NSFW) The man can do no wrong. Every photo I've seen I fall in love with, and yet each one has a different emotion behind it. Its not just sexy, or fetish, or beautiful. They're funny, romantic, historical, sensual and simple. Simple is why I love him so much. Can't explain it, you just have to look at his photos. Expect a lot of him on Saturdays.

Today we have Kayla. Gorgeous no? I can't say much else, what else could be said?! A great ass and a natural beauty. And once again, simple. Unfortunately I couldn't find a link to her as a model. But to see more of her check out Michael Helms and Perry Gallagher on dA!


















(click photo to make it larger...you know the drill)

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Don't forget to brush your musk-ox and piano your iceberg lettuce, yellow traffic cone

I really don't write in this thing much. I feel as tho my "thoughts" are too scattered brained to be collected into a blog/journal entry. Thats why I tweet. If you are on Twitter, you should follow me. I'm kinda worth it...sometimes I feel attractive and post pics.

Whats new with Miss Awry? Not much, the same ole shit. I work, I sleep, I eat (sometimes), I visit the pregnant local BFF, I chill with the other BFF, I miss the the other BFF whos busy as well. (being an adult sucks balls) I miss a boy, I see the boy, I enjoy the attention and visit from other boys. But nothing tops my boy. I can never get enough of him. I'm so proud of him. Wish I could watch him progress and succeed. Someday soon, he knows I'm here and doing what I can from here. He's gonna kick ass =)

Big time loan payments kicked in this month...I don't have the means to pay them...almost took up hooking. Kinda joking. Oh the things we do for money. Thank God for my father. And I talked to my boss, she's scheduling me more hours. If I still need a few extra bucks then I'll start working for Soldier Boy. Maybe...or take up that offer for 32,000+ for 48 hours. (joking again...kinda) Either way this means less Dagorhir, less fun times, and no moving out anytime soon. Yeah...sad panda.

I don't know what I want at times; I do things, I never regret, I wish I had someone to tell all my feelings and secrets.

Good news is that I feel as though I can officially call myself a non-smoker now. Saying this I have a big grin on my face. Feels good. I don't need the cigarette, nor do I want it. But, yes there is a but (no puns please) I have yet to see how I fair while drinking. But I don't smoke after eating, or at my usual times. Nor do I crave one during stressful times.

Lets see, what else...I need to get laid. No, that is an understatement. You know that feeling of such sexual need that its beyond any other description than; I need to be fucked into a coma. Yeah, thats where I am right now. Every dream is lustful. Filled with old fantasies, new fantasies, new lovers, old lovers, lovers I've never met, lovers that don't exist, lovers that I will never have...and every morning I awake in a sweat, breathing heavy and a flood in my boxer briefs. My favorite dreams have been the gang bangs. Full of win and delicious cum. Wow...this just got graphic. But thats what happens when hormones race and no one is around to slow em down.

And now for something completely different and entertaining, You gotta love those silly Scots:
Kenny: So... Yeah, currently, I've got a handful of hot blood-balloon, and I'm trying to make it spit bird shit.
Wicked Awry: watchin porn?
Kenny: Indeed I am.
Kenny: Well, not exactly "watching pron", but close enough.
Kenny: Works the same way.
Wicked Awry: listening to
Kenny: Nah, not really.
Kenny: Listening to porn?
Kenny: How the hell would that work?
Kenny: XD
Kenny: *High pitched "Ungh!"*
Kenny: *Low pitched "ungh!"*
Kenny: *High pitched "Ungh!"*
Kenny: *Low pitched "Ungh!"*
Kenny: *obligatory obscenity*
Kenny: *obligatory "that's hot." or "ooh yes..." agreement comment*
Kenny: *high pitched "Ungh!"*
Kenny: *Low pitched "Ungh!"*
Kenny: *High pitched “waffle ice cream cone”*
Kenny: *Low pitched "WTF?"*
Kenny: *Sound of an aeroplane taking off*
Kenny: *Submarine sonar*
Kenny: *Low pitched "What the hell is going on?!?!?!"*
Kenny: *Slow motion sound of dying spoons*
Kenny: *MOOOOO!*
Kenny: *Low pitched "where the fuck did that cow come from? And where in god's name did it get that space suit?!?!?!"
Kenny: *High pitched "Humanumahumnahumanumanumanumanumanhumanum."

Thursday, July 30, 2009

I Touch Myself

I have a new toy...I can't try it out...grrrrr...fuck me! No really...someone fuck me.

That gets me started on a subject; What is it with sex toy makers and putting animals on vibes and dildos? Honestly, I do not want to insert anything that looks like a rabbit, dolphin, monkey, bear, insect, feline, rodent, pachyderm, magical creature, feathered friend or any other animal in ANY hole. Ever. I know what they're trying to do...make it cute! But I don't like it, and since mostly all vibes have some sort of animal theme I couldn't not buy a new waterproof vibe with a dolphin clit stimulator bullet. I have yet to use it BTW, I'll tell ya how it is soon.

Here are some of the most common examples, and a few from left field. I'm sure they all feel awesome, and everyone has their own wants and likes. But I just can't dig it. At least its just the bullets...most of them.

The rabbit is a quick animal, thus it has quick intense vibrations from its ears and gets you off.

Blush crush
The butterfly, dragonfly, ladybug, caterpillar, flutters over your clit.

Fluttering butterfly

Devinn Lane’s thrusting dragonfly™

Lady bug vibe - jelly
The beaver the same, but with his tail.

Royal romp™
The elephant uses his trunk to make you tremble.

Mini water gems™ smokey
The panther bats at it like a kitten bats at a ball of yarn.

Pearl panther™
I don't know what the monkey is doing, I assume he's using his tail (and it better be, I don't want no monkey penis).

Charlie the chimp™
A bear uses its tongue like it's licking up honey (sexy I know).

Waterproof tickle bear™
Birds peck at it. This does not sound appatizing.

Rockin’ robin™
The dolphin is used on waterproof toys. They're water loving animals...get it? I get it...but I don't like it!

Wall bangers deluxe dolphin
Lastly the not so popular ones but entertaining: Seals, dragons, snakes, pineapples (WTF), kangaroos, fairies, seahorses, I'm sure if I look hard enough I could find Jesus and Mother Mary. And gnomes...yes...theres a gnome.

Naughty gnome

Eden™ waterproof tropical G pineapple

Triple action seahorse

Kangaroo Rabbit vibrator by Vibratex


I much rather fuck this. The Pearl Knob by Vibratex


Affordable, not pink, and there is no animal rubbing up against my special spot. Sadly I don't have that, I have an update version of the Wall bangers deluxe dolphin. I'm excited to use it. Excited to be convinced that animal shaped bullets are worth my money.

I also need a new box to hold all my toy and fun stuff. I've out grown mine. I love toy shopping.

Til next time my loves!

P.S. All toys can be found on Eden Fantasys. It's an awesome site, use it!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Honey I know, I know, I know times are changing

When the day is hot and muggy, I'm a busy worker bee, work sucks, I hurt all over and I start my period on the worst possible day...Prince is there to make the end of that horrible day less horrible. Thank you Purple Rain...I feel relaxed and groovy. Now lets dance to some Little Red Corvette.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Use all your well-learned politesse, Or Ill lay your soul to waste

Haven't blogged in a while. Mostly because of one big reason. RAGNAROK! It's all I can think of, so why babble on about it?

Past few weeks have involved working, hanging with Zac, his SoCal cousin Ben, Charity, yard work, and planning. I have so many lists to fill! I love it...yes I know I'm a OCD freak but I'll have everything I need. Lets hope.

I am very very VERY excited... =D Look at this awesome new tent of mine. Room for me, my crap, and a friendly a friend.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Pillow Stuffed with Bunnies

"I need your input on what tent I should buy."

"I see. Well if you really think about it...divide by 2...take in account the rotation of the sun...read War and Peace...if you really want my thoughts. The blue one."

Adding this to the list of funny and amusing quotes from Zac. =P

Friday, May 15, 2009

I want to know the glory or how boring it is beneath your skin

The weather has be B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!! Hell, just doing chores and spring cleaning outside I'm enjoying. Minus raking. I hate to rake. Cleaned out the yard bins, found a BUNCH of camp stuff. And you know what that means; start collecting for Rag! I'm such an OCD girl, but I know if I don't start now I'll be running around like a mental patient the night before. I'm pretty sure I've got everything I need for camp minus the tent. The tent is kinda important. I get paid this week (I think) and I'll buy my tent with that. And we all know (or you do now) that I researched the fuck out of my tent. I can't just go out to one store, look at a tent in my price range and proclaim "THATS IT! Ring it up Charlie!" I spent a week looking at tents at different stores/sites, think I found the one I want. Zac and I may go out to some sporting goods store (we have none here in MV) and do some more shopping. Plus we needs garb.

And thats what I did yesterday, got out all my garb to see what I have and what I don't. I have a shit-ton of skirts and no shirts. The shirts I do have no longer fit/look good. At least by themselves, this means I'll being wearing my corset(s) the whole time. May be hot, but I'll look hot. BONUS! heh. The downside of losing weight and not having the available funds to buy new clothing. Zac may be generous and get me a few new things, he's awesome like that. <3

Almost got my $60 of saved pocket change for pre-reg Ragnarok. I'm thinking by Rag I'll have a some extra for spending. And I know the parents will help with that. Thank God for them. I really do have the best parents in the world.

So unless something interesting and epic happens in the next 36 days, all I'll be writing about is Ragnarok and Dagorhir. I may or may not be excited. I miss my Militia.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green

It's a bright, beautiful sunny day and all I want to go it be inside with the curtains drawn and be alone. Maybe it because I'm bleeding. Maybe it because of my money problems. Maybe it's because Zac is home but busy. Maybe its because of some other problems. Maybe it's all of the above. I work, I work in the yard, I eat, I watch tv and movies, I sleep. A few times Zac steals me away and I go outside. He can always make me smile, he's always had that power.

I wanna visit My Hetero-Life mate. But I'm so poor it would be boring as hell, and I'd love to go out or something.

I promise world, I'll come out soon.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

You're All The Things I've Got To Remember

Hai thar blog! Did you miss me? I missed you...I know...I've been a very bad girl not updating you. But you like it when I'm bad. It turns you on...

Ok, enough with the dirty talk to inanimate objects.

I have nothing to report really. Zaccy is home. It's bliss...most of the time. We play, hang, and chat. I missed him so much, I'm not over him being home yet. I glomp him on a daily basis with said excuse. No one has any idea how much I love and missed him. I have a few best friends, but none know me as well as him and no one ever will.

In other news my fling is over. I need to focus.

Work is.......work. I enjoy it actually. I love shopping for people, it's kind of awesome. I'm not caught up on my debts yet. Not even close. I'm trying to save, but I don't work much or get paid much and all my money goes straight to paying bills. *sigh* I miss getting tips. Boobs were good for such things. Yay boobies.

The weather has been wonderful the past few days. Wonder how long it will last eh? I haven't gotten the chance to really play in it. Mostly yard work. Which is what I'll be doing today. Zac has/had drill this weekend (and on his b-day! sucks) so no BFF to play with. The talk is there might be a lil chillin today when he gets home. Of next week, neither of us work. Fun times will ensue. Good weather mean a trip to the Columbus Zoo!!! Mom and I go every year. Last year we went in April...it snowed. Yay Ohio?


So did I cover everything? Love, work, weather, friends, family....oh! Sex!

FIRST ADULT THEMED BLOG ENTRY!!
BE WARNED!!!!!!

Well...kinda...first adult themed blurb in a blog entry. Yay penis! I has a sore booty.

OK kiddies! Go outside and play! It's beautiful! And wear sunscreen!!

P.S: Is it time for Ragnarok yet?!?!?

Friday, April 10, 2009

'Cause you've taken too much time, To show me that you're mine

Ah yes…at least once, every girl needs to go through the drunk ex-significant other phone call. The one where they tell you that they’re happy for you and whatever you’re doing or whomever you’re with. And that they are your best friend and always will be. But they love you, you were and are the best thing to ever happen to them and they’re sorry that they messed up and lost you. And if in the future things don’t work and I want to come back, they are there waiting.

A little late…don’t ya think?

Well he’s still my best friend.

And we’ll see how things go when he’s home and we start hanging out again.

And not drunk.

He kinda had his chance…more than once.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Oh Baby You're A Classic


5 Days…Yup…5 whole days util my soldier boy comes home. Zac has been in San Antonio, Texas doing that Army thing. AIT…whatever it is. When he talks about the army, I turn into a dumb girl. None of it makes sense to me, but I nod and listen like a good friend. I try to get the gist of it all, so that all of my questions aren’t that stupid. I can’t tell you how long it took for me to remember “AIT”. I still don’t know what it stands for. All I know is that my best friend (and ex-boyfriend) is in Texas training to be a medic and when he comes back he’s gonna look damn good. I hope his butt is still there, he always had a nice butt.

Theres gonna be some tension…we’ll see how that is when we come to it. One thing at a time, but I’m not worried. Honestly I’m just excited to hang out with him again, we have the best time. I’ve got plans for him…trips to shopping, dinner, movies, events, and practices. I think we’re gonna start a workout schedule. Working out with a soldier…oh God, I’m gonna die.

On another note, 3rd official day of work today. Did really well, boss lady said I kicked ass. Feet not killing me as bad as the first day. Stayed in my super cute yellow heals all day. Oh and my ass looked delicious in my new black pants. Good hair day too. But I had a point about mentioning work…the music. Usually you hear one of two genres of music in stores, pertaining to the ambiance and product in the store. FB is now strictly misses and plus, no more juniors and girls. But the tunes…I was expecting oldies and alt-rock, adult contemporary type stuff. Like the lame ass radio station we have here in town. But holy shit, that tape sounds like my MP3 player on random…although I wouldn’t listen to some of this stuff. I made notes on what I heard:

In Succession:
  • Abba
  • Backstreet Boys
  • Blink 182
  • Prince
  • Steely Dan
  • Velvet Revolver
  • Billy Joel
  • Alicia Keys
  • Panic At The Disco
  • Van Halen
  • John Mayer
  • Bob Marley
  • James Brown

I donno, I found it interesting. I sing and dance around the store. The customers seem to enjoy it.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Water Is Good For You

A quote/comment from a friend on this photo The Ides of March event. It make me laugh so hard. (lol hard)

"LOOK AT THAT FUCKING WATER. SWALLOW THAT SHIT DOWN, SON. FEEL THAT HYDRATION? IT'S H20H-SO-GOOD. THIS AIN'T SOME PUSSY AQUAFINA BOTTLE. WE'VE GOT A MOTHERFUCKING GALLON OF AQUEOUS BADASSITUDE FOR YOU TO WRAP YOUR DRY-ASS HUSK OF A FACE AROUND. YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID? AQUEOUS. IT COMES FROM THE LATIN WORD FOR WATER. ROMANS DRANK WATER AND THEY STABBED PEOPLE TO DEATH ALL OVER EUROPE." - Grikk Bloodbeard

Thats some funny fucking shit mother fucker.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

This is why I walk to the bar

"Wygle was charged with driving the bar stool while under the influence of alcohol and driving while under suspension. He has pleaded not guilty to the charges and asked for a jury trial. No court date has been set."
By Randy Ludlow,
DUI charge is filed, but man never left bar stool
THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH

This happened in Newark, Ohio...23 miles from my little rural town. Or in "Ohio miles"; 40 minutes away. Here in Ohio we don't measure distance in miles, it's in time. Makes sense to me. Fuck you guys who think its dumb. Anyway, back to my point. Yes I had one. Not everybody in this area (and down in Newark, also pronounced Nerrk) are gun-toting-hog-owning-racist-bigoted-drunk-white trash-assholes. But honestly, this story made me giggle. It's a silly idea and I could prolly see someone I know doing this. *sigh*

I just wanted to share this story, point out that I'm from the area, and that not everyone from here is...dumb.

Friday, March 27, 2009

I am secrets untold

(pictured above, Joatoms)
This dude...we call him Jo...is an "interesting" character. A kind, older gentleman, with that sick, dirty sense of humor that all in our circle have. He joined our ranks recently, bribed us with some delicious booze and charmed us with poems about ourselves. They're too amusing not to share. I am especially intrigued by mine.


(pictured above, Radnor The Baby Raper)
Radnor Shall Rage

Teeth of silver,
horns of jade,
dead baby's bones
Radnor shall rage

Death draws near,
The heat gives hint,
Fire, acid, spewing forth,
Radnor has been sent.

blood on her hands,
And blood on her breath,
But guilt she has not,
Because she loves death.


(Pictured above, Loki)
Loki's Counterfeit Soul

Before you mess with her...there's some things ya should know,
Don't ever fuck with lokis counterfeit Soul...
As quiet as she may be,and sane as she might look..
Stay clear of her wraith...or your body on a hook.
With inner demons like lions to the slaughter...
Your soul will beg for her mercy..your life to cower..
Now I hope you have changed your mind about fucking with her...
Don't know what's your fucking with..you'll see.


(Pictured above, Boz)
Boz
Joint in my maw,
drink in my hand,
whore on my lap,
yeah, I've made the score,
in this green land,
lost in dual insanity
without a care,
flogging a Care Bear,
drinking pessimism
as a matter of course.
No help around the corner,
because the problem is not there,
it does not exist,
even to the pessimist,
so take it and enjoy,
live and cry,
take it and die.


(pictured above, Loki and Jester)
Jester
An arseole the other day
said they could read me every way,
read me like a bloody book
until from them the life I shook.

Every pleasure in their eyes was gone
as they traveled to oblivion,
and I shed not a tear
as I laughed at their fear.


(Pictured above, Awry, Me)
Awry
I am the poison in your veins,
the stride in your walk,
the damp between your thighs,
I hold your reins,
I control your talk,
I fill your pies.

I am secrets untold,
and your fate I hold,
I am not a fantasy,
I am your destiny


(Pictured above, Blackhawk, Non-Militia)
Blackhawk
I am a dark sparrow,
A nights raven,
An angel with black wings.
The hawk of black
I am little dark me,
And that’s all I can be.
Please don’t try to change me,
What I am can not be reversed.
I know my fate,
I know I’m cursed.
I’ve been manipulated,
By his blood I’ve been intoxicated.
I’m not sorry or ashamed.
I am what I am because I was betrayed.
But it turned out that I was deceived in the best way.
I’m happy as I am.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Get Schooled

One must be aware of all internet traditions. Educate yourself.

My favorite

Monday, March 23, 2009

My Aim Is True

I don’t know why I enjoy writing disjointed, list form, and random thought journal entries. Maybe it’s because that how I think, it’s how I process my world.

I built a pantry yesterday for my mother. Yes it was one of those from the box things, but I still got to use a cordless drill and stuff. OCD wins when you’re building. That shit is straight, even and level. Looks good, holds lost of things thus opening up the kitchen more and allowing us to be more organized and less cluttered.

Which brings me to my next thought, clutter. We have too much. As a family I mean. The front room, Mom’s room, is ok. Dad’s room looks like a warehouse. Goddamn I hate that room. Shit is just everywhere. Dropped ceilings, dark wood paneling, computer parts, tobacco and filters (we roll our own), CD’s…and everything is covered in a fine layer of dust, ash and the smell of smoke.

Thus my need to overhaul my upstairs rooms. By bedroom isn’t bad. A few things need to go, but after the bed bugs I tend to keep it orderly and clean. My living room is a whole other story. I have too much crap, saved up over the years. Many of it useless, some of it hold memories, and then the rest just needs to find a real home. I want to paint, I want to rearrange, I want to cut back my useless possessions. I want to better display my books.

On to my next thought. (I like how this is flowing, like I planned it!) Books, reading. I need more of this. I have the time but instead I do what most people my age do in this culture. I sit in front of my computer screen or TV (sometimes both) and I click away at pointless things. I’m a slow reader, and a distracted reader. I tend to read 3 maybe 4 books at once, but somehow without confusing any. I think this comes from reading one book for school, one light read for bed and another more difficult one. I read in the morning, with my coffee. It’s bliss. Used to read at the clubhouse while working. Something about reading while at work make me want to read more. I would read at work then when my shift was up I’d go home and read more until dinner. Sounds like I need to be busy to allow myself the luxury of sitting down for a few hours to read. Lord knows I still have no job.

Aaaaaaand onto the next topic! Jobs, work, career ect. I’m hired at my local Fashion Bug, but have yet to start. Still waiting for my last reference to pick up the damn phone and tell them how awesome I am. I assume the background check went well. I need to start working, not just for money, but because I like to work. When I work I stay active, I eat healthier, I exercise, I want to look and feel good because I have a reason to do so.

And now for a list of random thoughts:
  • I love classical music; Night on Bald Mountain was a favorite as a child.
  • I can’t wait for there to be fresh fruit from our farmers market.
  • I want an apartment in the city, but I adore this town.
  • Jethro Tull is fucking bad ass.
  • I can’t stop watching How I Met Your Mother, Barney is so funny!!
  • I hate yard work. No…loathe it. And yet tomorrow I’m volunteering to do it tomorrow.
  • I’m a great daughter.
  • I’m the best thing that could ever happen to you.
  • And I’m the best catch in the sea.

So I think those are my semi-random thoughts of the day (more like the past weekend). Time for a smoke and some groovy music.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Crush Kill and Destroy!

Before I blog about my road trip to Georgia, I fell like I should explain Dagorhir. (even if no one read this *cry* *slash wrists* sorry...emo time is over)

Dagorhir, in my own words: Medieval/fantasy/D&D/Tolkien inspired full contact combat played with foam weapons. One dresses in garb (a costume), adopts a persona and name and becomes that “person”. It's kinda epic. Just sayin. There are many units and groups; evil, good, mercs, human, elf, orc, other...anything you can really think of. But there is no Sci-fi...you can't be from space. There are events all over the country, many in the Midwest area, and the most epic and largest is Ragnarok. Thousands come out, camp, party and camp for a week. Battles are had, tournaments, and parties rage on. Oh and I mention the parties? There are a lot of parties. But the best part is falling asleep to the drums in your tent cuddled up with someone. * sigh *

Now then...my unit (lol unit), The Militia. A rapidly growing group of evil personas, once known as a rag tag of degenerates, infamous for causing trouble and the occasional explosion. Now a days we’re somewhat organized (or attempting to be) and kicking some major ass on the field. People fear us. And we throw a kick ass party with booze and boobs. That’s what it’s all about right?

We do not LARP (Live Action Role Play). Some Dag kids would like to, and they’re welcome to. They form groups within groups to do so. I’m more into the fighting, people, parties and camping.

Yes we’re geeks…but at least we’re not these people.

Need more info that isn't by Dag kids? In need of a creditable source like a TV show featured on The Discovery Channel? Well you're in luck Mister!! Wreckreation Nation did a lovely piece on us, represent us quite well. Give it a lil watch! Part one and Part two.

Few last plugs... Dagorhir and Militia. All kinds of win.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

The stained-glass curtain you're hiding behind never lets in the sun

I'm feeling sappy and snuggley...not sure why. Maybe it's the fact that I'm home alone on a Saturday night. oh boo hoo..Shut up, stop complaining.

Today was a good day! Shopped with mom, she got me food for Ides. (IDES IDES IDES IIIIIDEEEESSSSS) I'll get my snuggle fix there for sure. =) Got a job interview set up for wednesday!!! At Fashion Bug. Retail...eh...but I know everyone who works there, they love me and they think I'd be perfect. Positive thinking everyone!! And what am I gonna wear?!

I really want that cigarette now. Must be strong!!! I'm doing so well! *head desk* Zac pointed out that whenever Char calls I need a smoke. He's absolutely correct. What is it about smoking and talking on the phone? During...after...or both...whatever...but I haven't smoked. My last cig is just sitting on my keyboard...mocking me...

Not smoking at Ides is gonna be hard. All those bastards with their delicious smokes...feeding the nicotine demon...damn I want one so bad now! But I've been having trouble catching my breath/breathing. Lungs hurt...it's time to stop. Never should have started. I know that I've quit when I break this last smoke in two. Not ready yet. It's like sleeping with an ex, ya can't quite let go of that feeling. They know what you need and exactly how to get you there. Usually.

Fuck...wheres my gum.

Friday, March 6, 2009

I think you're just so pleasant

My mother...no matter how needy, annoying, stubborn, and ditzy she is...she's still fucking awesome. Who is paying for my entry, gas money and food for Ides of March? Her. Who is emptying her pocket change every day into my gargoyle bank for Ragnarok? Her. Who would drop anything to help and give me anything when I needed it the most? Her. She's super supportive, my best friend and the most giving person in the world. Love my mama. =)

She and I will be going out to play this weekend. Mr Weather Man said it was gonna be nice. We'll get our weekly supply of meat, pack a picnic, stop by DQ, and do some antiquing. A typical mother daughter saturday. =)

Been preparing for Ides for the past few days. Set up the tent, did repairs, cleaned stuff, packed (kinda) the camping tool kit, made up my skull stencil so that I may paint it on my chair. I'm doing everything I can to stay busy and not actually pack my bags.

This weekend, maybe tomorrow, I really need to watch and review a porn. I've fallen so behind. But shit...they ain't paying me so...yea. I really enjoy writing and reviewing. I forgot how much I liked it. Used to do it all the time in high school and before. Hell, I used to want to be a writer. Hmmmm...might be something I should look into. Lets move to the city and write for a blog or mag! Yea...that'll happen.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Baby Mamas

Friends are getting married...and then pregnant...

If I would have stayed with him I betcha I'd be engaged right now. Or married. But definitely not carrying an alien in my uterus. Thank GOD I'm not. Not ready...and not stupid.

Makes a single girl seek out Planned Parenthood to get herself some birth control. Just as a precaution. Don't get me wrong, I like kids. Don't love...I like. I'll love my kids though. But I want to love them when I'm pushing 30's, married, with a stable job and possibly a house.

Yea...fuck that shit...gimmie da pill man!

Shorter bleeding times would be nice too.

I'm happy for my friends who are going to have or have had babies. Yay for them.

I charge for babysitting.

Hope Lee's ugly genetics isn't the dominate one...that child would be "special".

9 months til I'm Auntie Whoo. And possibly (if Lee isn't a dickwad...which he will be...) a Godmother (?!?!)

Sunday, February 22, 2009

You Can't Take The Sky From Me

Some days I want to be a hermit. I sit in my room, play on the computer, read, watch movies/TV and talk to either no one or just my family. It's not because I'm mad, sad. Nor am I depressed. Lonely yes..."needy" very...but unhappy? No. My excuse is that I'm an only child and I enjoy my solitude. Makes me think that I'll need to live on my own, sans roommate. That is, unless its a significant other.

The guv-ment is raising the tax on roll your own tobacco supplies. Something like 2000%. This means the family will be seriously cutting back and hopefully quitting. Honestly I'm looking forward to the house, my clothes, the furniture, and myself not smelling of smoke. Of course it'll be super hard, especially that after meal smoke, or a lazy puff after a tiring fuck, or the morning with my coffee drag, or drunk cigarette, or smokin after tokin. *sigh* It's for the greater good...right?

right

Monday, February 16, 2009

No Peace I Find, Just An Old Sweet Song

Another weekend spent with Radnor is now over and I am now officially ecstatic to be an only child. Love that girl but by the 3rd night I need to run away and sit in silence. She’s like a tornado! Her possessions end up all over my room! Lol But it was a nice weekend, glad I didn’t spend Valentine’s weekend alone. We hung with Sarge’s sister at Honey Buckets, had a beer, ran around town and then proceeded to spend the rest of the weekend in my room watching Ugly Betty and playing with armor. Now I clean and organize. It makes me happy. =)

While I did spend Valentine’s Day with my heterosexual life mate because neither of have a male counterpart…I did end up with a lovely long distance Valentine. Fluff (Zaccy) sent me flowers and a teddy bear. The boy set it up all the way from Texas and got here in time for Valentine’s Day! I’m super impressed…the Barlow family is not one for punctuality. You can count on them being at least 15 minutes late to everything. Miss that boy though.



zomg needs Ides

zomg needs booty

zomg

Friday, February 13, 2009

I can has a Valentine?

Zac claims he's sending flowers, or candy, or a stuffed animal from AIT in Texas. Hell...he might send it all. He's got the money, he talked about it today...he just might do it! But knowing him it'll be late. The boy would score major points if he pulls this off.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

En ädel syn ny väntas kan, Styrka uråldrig och ära sann

The sun is attempting to break through the clouds, the wind is cold but the air feels warm, I’m sitting around my room in capri length lounge pants, and my body is aching to go play. Luckily my mind is smarter than my body and tells me the truth…it’s still February, its still winter and it’s still chilly out there. Ohio weather is a dirty, dirty tease.

Even though my hip is bothering me, and my knees sound like pop rocks when I climb stairs, I wanna hop on my bike and go all 30 miles of the trail here in town just to have that feeling of being outside and active. If people were home or I had the ability to get to a Dag practice I’d run around all day with them. But alas I am alone in Mount Vernon. And don’t get me started on the stupid army taking my favorite bored Mount Vernonite who drops everything to play AND pays for shit. Is it April yet?

At least I have March to look forward to. Holy shit there will be a lot of people in this house. It’s like the Ragnarok caravan all over again…but for an extended amount of time. Dad doesn’t seem too pleased with the thought of that many people being upstairs at one time. He seems to think that the house will fall down. Depending the time everyone is here we can take over most of the house. Hell, it might be warm enough we can hang and play outside for a bit. Dad will be just fine sitting in his shop, he’ll have to read his blogs at another time. Mom is very welcoming and pretty excited to see everyone. As long as she has time to sit in the living room alone, drink her coffee and shower we’ll be fine. I expect we won’t be squatting for long. This trip should be epic.

Oh and…I’m so happy that I’m 22, unmarried, not committed to a man, and not pregnant or in possession of a child. Just sayin…

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Shes knows she's built, knows how to please

Random thoughts, views, and experiences from the past few days:
  • I make a kick ass deep dish pizza. Homemade crust and sauce included.
  • I love being in the kitchen. And I love being in the kitchen with my mother.
  • I mutha-fuckin poor as shit.
  • I've been a little depressed this past week.
  • I'm in the mood to dance/party on a large scale.
  • I miss him.
  • Mom and dad noticed that I've lost weight. Radnor did too...what the hell did I do to lose weight?! I thought I gained...
  • I'm pretty damn sexy. Just sayin...
  • The History Channel has lost some of its creditability.
  • I'm bored of my "toys" and nothing I watch online excites me anymore. I'm also too lazy to look around for more than 20 minutes.
  • I want to purge/get rid of a bunch of my stuff but I'm still emotionaly attached to it.
  • I have to pee...thus this post is over.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Opinions, Silence and Bunnies.

Nothing like a friends opinion to make you re-think your life and decisions you've made.

And then I remember that I am my own person, I control my life and believe whatever happens happens.

I'm living life as it goes. Not holding my breath, not making or worrying (or trying not to) about plans or the future. I enjoy everyday (somehow).

And that is that.

P.S: Silence is a beautiful thing. I think humanity now a days take it for granted. No one slows down to breathe, listen, and take the world's little things in. Because it's the little things that matter and make life beautiful. Like bunnies... I love bunnies.

It's also the little things that make me rage...just putting that out there.