I Touch Myself

I have a new toy...I can't try it out...grrrrr...fuck me! No really...someone fuck me.

That gets me started on a subject; What is it with sex toy makers and putting animals on vibes and dildos? Honestly, I do not want to insert anything that looks like a rabbit, dolphin, monkey, bear, insect, feline, rodent, pachyderm, magical creature, feathered friend or any other animal in ANY hole. Ever. I know what they're trying to do...make it cute! But I don't like it, and since mostly all vibes have some sort of animal theme I couldn't not buy a new waterproof vibe with a dolphin clit stimulator bullet. I have yet to use it BTW, I'll tell ya how it is soon.

Here are some of the most common examples, and a few from left field. I'm sure they all feel awesome, and everyone has their own wants and likes. But I just can't dig it. At least its just the bullets...most of them.

The rabbit is a quick animal, thus it has quick intense vibrations from its ears and gets you off.

Blush crush
The butterfly, dragonfly, ladybug, caterpillar, flutters over your clit.

Fluttering butterfly

Devinn Lane’s thrusting dragonfly™

Lady bug vibe - jelly
The beaver the same, but with his tail.

Royal romp™
The elephant uses his trunk to make you tremble.

Mini water gems™ smokey
The panther bats at it like a kitten bats at a ball of yarn.

Pearl panther™
I don't know what the monkey is doing, I assume he's using his tail (and it better be, I don't want no monkey penis).

Charlie the chimp™
A bear uses its tongue like it's licking up honey (sexy I know).

Waterproof tickle bear™
Birds peck at it. This does not sound appatizing.

Rockin’ robin™
The dolphin is used on waterproof toys. They're water loving animals...get it? I get it...but I don't like it!

Wall bangers deluxe dolphin
Lastly the not so popular ones but entertaining: Seals, dragons, snakes, pineapples (WTF), kangaroos, fairies, seahorses, I'm sure if I look hard enough I could find Jesus and Mother Mary. And gnomes...yes...theres a gnome.

Naughty gnome

Eden™ waterproof tropical G pineapple

Triple action seahorse

Kangaroo Rabbit vibrator by Vibratex


I much rather fuck this. The Pearl Knob by Vibratex

Affordable, not pink, and there is no animal rubbing up against my special spot. Sadly I don't have that, I have an update version of the Wall bangers deluxe dolphin. I'm excited to use it. Excited to be convinced that animal shaped bullets are worth my money.

I also need a new box to hold all my toy and fun stuff. I've out grown mine. I love toy shopping.

Til next time my loves!

P.S. All toys can be found on Eden Fantasys. It's an awesome site, use it!

I think you're just so pleasant

My mother...no matter how needy, annoying, stubborn, and ditzy she is...she's still fucking awesome. Who is paying for my entry, gas money and food for Ides of March? Her. Who is emptying her pocket change every day into my gargoyle bank for Ragnarok? Her. Who would drop anything to help and give me anything when I needed it the most? Her. She's super supportive, my best friend and the most giving person in the world. Love my mama. =)

She and I will be going out to play this weekend. Mr Weather Man said it was gonna be nice. We'll get our weekly supply of meat, pack a picnic, stop by DQ, and do some antiquing. A typical mother daughter saturday. =)

Been preparing for Ides for the past few days. Set up the tent, did repairs, cleaned stuff, packed (kinda) the camping tool kit, made up my skull stencil so that I may paint it on my chair. I'm doing everything I can to stay busy and not actually pack my bags.

This weekend, maybe tomorrow, I really need to watch and review a porn. I've fallen so behind. But shit...they ain't paying me so...yea. I really enjoy writing and reviewing. I forgot how much I liked it. Used to do it all the time in high school and before. Hell, I used to want to be a writer. Hmmmm...might be something I should look into. Lets move to the city and write for a blog or mag! Yea...that'll happen.