Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Happy Hump Day #6

Good God I've been a horrible blogger. And know why? Cause I'm lazy. Its that simple. I could pull some excuse out of my sweet, sweet ass like; "I was busy", and I will. Well I was ok!! I was busy beating Plants vs Zombies (OMG SO MUCH FUN), working retail during THE HOLIDAY SEASON (shoot me in the face), trying to keep some sort of order of the house, AND somehow have a social life. On top of all that I was dumb and agreed to work extra hours and Thanksgiving day. But I get time in a half, a gift card, and they provide lunch. Yay money!!

So can you forgive me world? Would you feel better if I posted some hot pics and things to make you giggle? Yeah? Ok then, I will.

Click photos to make em bigger. Durh. And have a Happy Hump Day!

Oh and P.S: STAR TREK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Happy Hump Day #5

No, you didn't miss out on Hump Day. I didn't write one. Why? Cause I'm a lazy hoe, thats why. On my Hump Day I: worked 8 hours or retail and unpacked freight, cleaned the house, received cramps that feel like I'm being kicked by a horse, witnessed SNOW FLURRIES, wore green pants, and wrote an epic novel. Well the last one isn't true...but it rounded out the sentence well.

While working I was thinking of blog entries I could do, daydreaming of getting fucked 6 ways to Sunday, and how I should make up for not doing a Hump Day. My friend Pretty Lady has to be one of my most quoted friends. The stuff she thinks up! Classics I tell you. Well maybe not classics, but they crack me up. And since I'm the sharing type I saved a few quotes from her JUST FOR YOU. Because I CARE.

  • "I just tried to remember what I did in elementary through most of high school, and I can't. WTF. I wasn't even drinking then"
  • "Oh no!! I'm so sorry!! I spilled coke on your dog!!!" (maybe not funny to you but it's my blog and it was fucking hilarious at the time. Fuck you, it still is!)
  • "Golfers, oh golfers, when you let your Bloody Marys slosh into the cupholders and over the dash of the cart and it proceeds to creep into every pore and crevasse and crease and solidify in this chill, flecked with pepper and studded with bits of dill pickle and celery, I fight back the urge to use this industrial-strength cleaner on your irises. Just so you know."
  • "I get jealous of the people in the Trojan commercials...with their fake sex. I think I will fall into a deep depression. A sex depression. Depresexion."
  • "Lonely Vagina Syndrome. Symptoms include: mood swings, irritability, sexual aggression, and poor life choices. Eventual death." (I also recommend you stay sober when you have LVS)