Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!!

Writers block....I haz it. Have had it. I blame Mercury. And the full moon. And Chuck Norris. In the meantime read my tweets, and drool over the pics in re-blog on my new Tumblr! (Like the one below)

Happy Hump Day #7

Do I really have to tell you again how much I hate retail? I think not.

Its Wednesday y'all. Hump day. Actually its almost over...get your hump on before it's over! It's all downhill until Friday. Then it'll drag by like Christmas eve when you were 5 years old. I will not be getting my hump on. I will be posting this entry, watch some basic cable, use Gino, and go to bed.

Its been a crazy week. And not in a fun way. Last night I was messin on the intertubes and found these. Pretty much made it all better. That it my gal-pal sending me this ringtone. I almost pissed myself laughing.

So silly, cracks my shit up.

Can't deny the truth.

But I do...and you prolly do. Geek.

And my favorite one of the night...

You're welcome.

The Wind has no Destination

Holy fuck balls....has it been that long since I've updated?! I deserve a spanking. Yes! A spanking! And then the oral sex!! (yay Monty Python reference. I'm a nerd...but hot. You want me.)

Coming soon to The Blog:

• Vikings
• Metal
• Sex
• Porn
• Christmas
• Retail
• Maybe a review

Stay tuned. <3

Hump Day #3; The Good, The Bad, and My 99 Problems

Bad Shit: My body hurts from working so much (I need better shoes), I need to get fucked like a desperate $2 crack-head hooker (no offence to $2 crack-head hookers), I feel as though I'm coming down with a cold (thank you retail), I'm poor as FUCK (God damn student loans), My room is a mess and my OCD is about to kick in.

Good Shit: The sun is shinning, I am loved and adored, Ohio is having an Indian Summer, I've been getting good hours at work, Halloween fun-ness looks promising, and I have at least 3 days off coming up. I'll be getting a real weekend!! I can clean!! But I know I won't be getting laid. Can't get everything you want, right?

So Wednesday...middle of the week...Hump Day on my blog. What laugh am I providing you? It goes along with my little rant. I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one! Word...




I lul'd

Sexy Saturday #3 Zombie Dick!!!!

So guess who forgot that today is Sunday, making yesterday Saturday, and that day when I usually pre-write sexy Saturdays posts, aka Friday, was spent with her girlfriends watching Across the Universe and playing Guitar Hero.

I'm a very bad girl...I'm late a day. And since I'm a bad, bad, girl I'll feature a dirty, nasty, filthy, and slightly disturbing photos I found somewhere anonymous.

I guess these photos show my fucked up side. I saw these and my brain 'sploded. My mind said "These are fuuuuuucked up!!" and my body said "These are HOT! Touch yourself. Now...do it you slut!" And I did. And I saved the photos for later use.

Those Japanese and their dirty Henti. Zombie sex?! Well, some is sex, some is rape. What do you expect! They're zombies. It makes it that much more fucked up and hot. I like to think that they're moaning about vagina instead of brains. Maybe they end up eating vag THEN brains...this is something ponder. I'm diggin the "armor". Its obvious that the ladies were sent to fight the huge dicked zombies, failed, and ended up gettin their pussies stuffed with zombie cock. If I could get a hold of the actual movie or comic I would soooooo love to have it. (sauce plox) Number five is my favorite. heehee....

Sexy Saturday #2

Its Saturday y'all! That means I'm at work instead of enjoying my weekend like you people with your normal careers. Workin 9 to 5. What a way to make a living... (love me some Dolly).

Any who...with everyone out of town this weekend, and my old booty call no longer my booty call; I'm stuck home (as we know) having fun with Pablo, Gino and the unnamed Blue Dude. Who I broke. I guess that brand doesn't like the way I fuck. With all this this week's photo is super sexy. Last week's was beautiful, soft, and erotic. This week makes me lick my lips with dirty thoughts and dirty memories. You don't see faces, no identity, they're anonymous. Makes it that much more sexy. She's his little slut, she'll do anything for him without a complaint. All she wants to do is please. And when she does, she gets pleasure in return. The pain makes it that much more intense.

Fuck people, this photo is borderline raunchy. And I love it.
Photo was found from one of my dirty followers: SevenInchDick

Don't forget to brush your musk-ox and piano your iceberg lettuce, yellow traffic cone

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I Touch Myself

I have a new toy...I can't try it out...grrrrr...fuck me! No really...someone fuck me.

That gets me started on a subject; What is it with sex toy makers and putting animals on vibes and dildos? Honestly, I do not want to insert anything that looks like a rabbit, dolphin, monkey, bear, insect, feline, rodent, pachyderm, magical creature, feathered friend or any other animal in ANY hole. Ever. I know what they're trying to do...make it cute! But I don't like it, and since mostly all vibes have some sort of animal theme I couldn't not buy a new waterproof vibe with a dolphin clit stimulator bullet. I have yet to use it BTW, I'll tell ya how it is soon.

Here are some of the most common examples, and a few from left field. I'm sure they all feel awesome, and everyone has their own wants and likes. But I just can't dig it. At least its just the bullets...most of them.

The rabbit is a quick animal, thus it has quick intense vibrations from its ears and gets you off.

Blush crush
The butterfly, dragonfly, ladybug, caterpillar, flutters over your clit.

Fluttering butterfly

Devinn Lane’s thrusting dragonfly™

Lady bug vibe - jelly
The beaver the same, but with his tail.

Royal romp™
The elephant uses his trunk to make you tremble.

Mini water gems™ smokey
The panther bats at it like a kitten bats at a ball of yarn.

Pearl panther™
I don't know what the monkey is doing, I assume he's using his tail (and it better be, I don't want no monkey penis).

Charlie the chimp™
A bear uses its tongue like it's licking up honey (sexy I know).

Waterproof tickle bear™
Birds peck at it. This does not sound appatizing.

Rockin’ robin™
The dolphin is used on waterproof toys. They're water loving animals...get it? I get it...but I don't like it!

Wall bangers deluxe dolphin
Lastly the not so popular ones but entertaining: Seals, dragons, snakes, pineapples (WTF), kangaroos, fairies, seahorses, I'm sure if I look hard enough I could find Jesus and Mother Mary. And gnomes...yes...theres a gnome.

Naughty gnome

Eden™ waterproof tropical G pineapple

Triple action seahorse

Kangaroo Rabbit vibrator by Vibratex


I much rather fuck this. The Pearl Knob by Vibratex

Affordable, not pink, and there is no animal rubbing up against my special spot. Sadly I don't have that, I have an update version of the Wall bangers deluxe dolphin. I'm excited to use it. Excited to be convinced that animal shaped bullets are worth my money.

I also need a new box to hold all my toy and fun stuff. I've out grown mine. I love toy shopping.

Til next time my loves!

P.S. All toys can be found on Eden Fantasys. It's an awesome site, use it!

You're All The Things I've Got To Remember

Hai thar blog! Did you miss me? I missed you...I know...I've been a very bad girl not updating you. But you like it when I'm bad. It turns you on...

Ok, enough with the dirty talk to inanimate objects.

I have nothing to report really. Zaccy is home. It's bliss...most of the time. We play, hang, and chat. I missed him so much, I'm not over him being home yet. I glomp him on a daily basis with said excuse. No one has any idea how much I love and missed him. I have a few best friends, but none know me as well as him and no one ever will.

In other news my fling is over. I need to focus.

Work is.......work. I enjoy it actually. I love shopping for people, it's kind of awesome. I'm not caught up on my debts yet. Not even close. I'm trying to save, but I don't work much or get paid much and all my money goes straight to paying bills. *sigh* I miss getting tips. Boobs were good for such things. Yay boobies.

The weather has been wonderful the past few days. Wonder how long it will last eh? I haven't gotten the chance to really play in it. Mostly yard work. Which is what I'll be doing today. Zac has/had drill this weekend (and on his b-day! sucks) so no BFF to play with. The talk is there might be a lil chillin today when he gets home. Of next week, neither of us work. Fun times will ensue. Good weather mean a trip to the Columbus Zoo!!! Mom and I go every year. Last year we went in April...it snowed. Yay Ohio?


So did I cover everything? Love, work, weather, friends, family....oh! Sex!

FIRST ADULT THEMED BLOG ENTRY!!
BE WARNED!!!!!!

Well...kinda...first adult themed blurb in a blog entry. Yay penis! I has a sore booty.

OK kiddies! Go outside and play! It's beautiful! And wear sunscreen!!

P.S: Is it time for Ragnarok yet?!?!?

You Can't Take The Sky From Me

Some days I want to be a hermit. I sit in my room, play on the computer, read, watch movies/TV and talk to either no one or just my family. It's not because I'm mad, sad. Nor am I depressed. Lonely yes..."needy" very...but unhappy? No. My excuse is that I'm an only child and I enjoy my solitude. Makes me think that I'll need to live on my own, sans roommate. That is, unless its a significant other.

The guv-ment is raising the tax on roll your own tobacco supplies. Something like 2000%. This means the family will be seriously cutting back and hopefully quitting. Honestly I'm looking forward to the house, my clothes, the furniture, and myself not smelling of smoke. Of course it'll be super hard, especially that after meal smoke, or a lazy puff after a tiring fuck, or the morning with my coffee drag, or drunk cigarette, or smokin after tokin. *sigh* It's for the greater good...right?

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