The Wind has no Destination

Holy fuck balls....has it been that long since I've updated?! I deserve a spanking. Yes! A spanking! And then the oral sex!! (yay Monty Python reference. I'm a nerd...but hot. You want me.)

Coming soon to The Blog:

• Vikings
• Metal
• Sex
• Porn
• Christmas
• Retail
• Maybe a review

Stay tuned. <3

Happy Hump Day #6

Good God I've been a horrible blogger. And know why? Cause I'm lazy. Its that simple. I could pull some excuse out of my sweet, sweet ass like; "I was busy", and I will. Well I was ok!! I was busy beating Plants vs Zombies (OMG SO MUCH FUN), working retail during THE HOLIDAY SEASON (shoot me in the face), trying to keep some sort of order of the house, AND somehow have a social life. On top of all that I was dumb and agreed to work extra hours and Thanksgiving day. But I get time in a half, a gift card, and they provide lunch. Yay money!!

So can you forgive me world? Would you feel better if I posted some hot pics and things to make you giggle? Yeah? Ok then, I will.

Click photos to make em bigger. Durh. And have a Happy Hump Day!

Oh and P.S: STAR TREK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Hump Day #5

No, you didn't miss out on Hump Day. I didn't write one. Why? Cause I'm a lazy hoe, thats why. On my Hump Day I: worked 8 hours or retail and unpacked freight, cleaned the house, received cramps that feel like I'm being kicked by a horse, witnessed SNOW FLURRIES, wore green pants, and wrote an epic novel. Well the last one isn't true...but it rounded out the sentence well.

While working I was thinking of blog entries I could do, daydreaming of getting fucked 6 ways to Sunday, and how I should make up for not doing a Hump Day. My friend Pretty Lady has to be one of my most quoted friends. The stuff she thinks up! Classics I tell you. Well maybe not classics, but they crack me up. And since I'm the sharing type I saved a few quotes from her JUST FOR YOU. Because I CARE.

• "I just tried to remember what I did in elementary through most of high school, and I can't. WTF. I wasn't even drinking then"
• "Oh no!! I'm so sorry!! I spilled coke on your dog!!!" (maybe not funny to you but it's my blog and it was fucking hilarious at the time. Fuck you, it still is!)
• "Golfers, oh golfers, when you let your Bloody Marys slosh into the cupholders and over the dash of the cart and it proceeds to creep into every pore and crevasse and crease and solidify in this chill, flecked with pepper and studded with bits of dill pickle and celery, I fight back the urge to use this industrial-strength cleaner on your irises. Just so you know."
• "I get jealous of the people in the Trojan commercials...with their fake sex. I think I will fall into a deep depression. A sex depression. Depresexion."
• "Lonely Vagina Syndrome. Symptoms include: mood swings, irritability, sexual aggression, and poor life choices. Eventual death." (I also recommend you stay sober when you have LVS)

Sexy Saturday #7: Halloween Special

I don't know about you, but I have had a shitty week. Work, personal problems, physical problems, money, family, blah blah. But none of that compares to the loss of a baby boy. Preggers, one of my best girl friends, became a mother this week. She gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on Wednesday. He was stillborn. Nothing can express the sadness I have for her and her husband. But life goes on, they're doing ok. Home and trying for normalcy.

And thats what I should be doing. I'm sad, she is the closest thing to a sister that I have, (I'm an only child) and I would have loved to be an Aunt. Next time right?

But back to the old routiene! Cause after all, tomorrow is another day! Not only is today Sexy Saturday, but it's Halloween!!! My favorite holiday, always has been. After working for a few hours (in costume) Pretty Lady and I plan on driving down to Columbus for some fun times. Drinks, dancing, live band, corset, heals, witch costume...good times will be had. I'll tweet and maybe post some pics!

This Sexy Saturday, being on a holiday and all, I attempted to find something really cool. Maybe I should have saved Zombie Porn for today... if it makes you feel better you should run over to Burning Angel and watch Dong of the Dead. But this week's photo comes from my favorite photographer on dA (who thinks I'm adorable) Michael Helms.

Shai is so long and lean looking, shes perfect for an elf. Love love LOVE the way the sun is filtering through the cloak. She makes me like elves...cause honestly I'm not a fan. (Dagorhir people who know me will understand)

So no, the photo isn't bloody, or raunchy, or typical, or traditional. I still find it approate for Halloween tho! Some other great themed photos in their Daily Deviations today.

Have a happy and SAFE Halloween everyone!!! And as always....Click links to artists and models! Don't be a douche and steal photos!!!

Happy Hump Day #4

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009. Yet again another hump day. But I can’t really call this Wednesday a bad day. This week has yet to truly suck. Sure some things went down…but that happens. I’m staying positive.

Why doesn’t this Wednesday suck you ask? Because I had 4 days off, including Monday. I spent my weekend with Preggers, Pretty Lady, Soldier Boy and my family. Dinners, movies, light shopping, playing and becoming obsessed with Fable II on Xbox (I now officially need a Xbox). I squeezed as much good times in my mini vacation as I could. So when I went back to work on Tuesday, in the afternoon, it didn’t suck. It was like Monday…but a it came on a non-shitty Tuesday afternoon. Ya know? Does that make sense? Maybe not…either way it didn’t suck. But I work retail, and our late hours start November 1st. Now THAT sucks. But that should mean more hours for me, which equals more money, which equals me not becoming a Lady of the Night. I know you’re disappointed.

For those who are having a shitty week…I’m sorry. Let me provide a little comic relief. Yes I know nudes and/or tits would make it better…but….too bad! That’s a Saturday thing.

So as you know I'm an Ohio girl. And I'm one of the few that actually loves living in Ohio. I live in rural Ohio, with all the Amish. Pimp...I know. So when I saw this, I lol'd cause it so very true. The rest of her stuff is pretty damn awesome. Check her gallery out on DevientART.

Sexy Saturday #6

So I'm sure you heard that the lovely, talented, bedroom eyed, raven haired, great assed, smokin' hot Sasha Gray has been named Genesis' #1 Pornstar on their Porn Top 100 listy doo-dad. I think I approve of their choice. I enjoy watching Sasha do her thing on camera, I especially like her tweets and the new stuff shes coming up with her own production company.

With all that in mind why not jump on the band wagon and make her my Sexy Saturday huh? I planned on it eventually. Ya see I found this awesome gif....



Yeah dude. I love her expression, same one I get when in a headlock getting ass fucked. Ya see why shes number one? If you don't...whatever fuck you.

I really need and want to see The Girlfriend Experience. I hear good things...

Let me tell you something...

I'm happy despite this pit of depression. I choose to behave or not to; choose when I'm a good girl or a bad girl. I choose peace over "war" because I can't stand any more betrayal and pain. I rely and trust in no one cause I learn from my mistakes; and yet everyone rely and trust in me. I choose the hard way when something simple is standing in front of me, with hands groping for me, reaching out for me, because I'm stubborn and hopeless. I wait for it patiently, but complain all the while. I run wild, but always come home to you and my own bed; whether you're there keeping it warm or its cold once again. I'm random when it's appropriate. I follow up but don't follow through. I write in sharpie but carry white-out. I'm loved but alone. Alone but not lonely. Forgiving but not forgetful. I'm your dream girl but I'll never be yours. The best you'll ever have and never get all of it ever again. I live every moment, enjoying the little ones, so that when the big one comes along I'll know how to react. I'm not fucked up, you are. And life is too simple and short to stand so still.

Deal with it friend, love me as I love you, don't let go, and enjoy my ride.

Hump Day #3; The Good, The Bad, and My 99 Problems

Bad Shit: My body hurts from working so much (I need better shoes), I need to get fucked like a desperate $2 crack-head hooker (no offence to $2 crack-head hookers), I feel as though I'm coming down with a cold (thank you retail), I'm poor as FUCK (God damn student loans), My room is a mess and my OCD is about to kick in.

Good Shit: The sun is shinning, I am loved and adored, Ohio is having an Indian Summer, I've been getting good hours at work, Halloween fun-ness looks promising, and I have at least 3 days off coming up. I'll be getting a real weekend!! I can clean!! But I know I won't be getting laid. Can't get everything you want, right?

So Wednesday...middle of the week...Hump Day on my blog. What laugh am I providing you? It goes along with my little rant. I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one! Word...




I lul'd

Sexy Saturday #5

Oh Sexy Saturdays...you come and go too quickly. It always seem to be the problem huh...I know I've had my share with something coming too quickly. This time I'm actually early. By a few minutes.

Well I've had a simple, disappointing and yet fun week. So what did I pick for this weeks feature? Something that reflects this week (simple, disappointing and yet fun).

How is it simple you ask? Well...look at it. Its one girl licking another. Its a tease. Sure, there must be more to it but unless you have sauce (the movie/clip from whence this came from) its a a simple, and disappointing tease! See what I did thar? I love that I found this, but disappointed that I don't have the full clip. I'm intrigued...wants to see more! And yes...its a fun lil gif. I giggled when I clicked it. BTW...chick the pic to see it move. ;-)



So there you have it. Sexy Saturday. One girl licking another. Sure got me frisky!

I'll be in my bunk....

Hump Day #2

Happy Hump Day!!! *humps air*

Mine sucked balls! Thats cause Wednesday always sucks. Plans fell through, long work day, it's fucking cold, I have nothing clean, nothing fits (at least its too big vs too small). But I have the next few days off. I'll make this week not suck. I'm determined.

So this made me laugh yesterday...I watched it this eve when I got home from my long ass work day of unpacking freight. You will laugh too. Thanks to my friend Rooster.

Sweet lemonade, yes sweet lemonade.

CLICK DA LINK!! WATCH IT!! FULL OF WIN!!!