I Touch Myself

I have a new toy...I can't try it out...grrrrr...fuck me! No really...someone fuck me.

That gets me started on a subject; What is it with sex toy makers and putting animals on vibes and dildos? Honestly, I do not want to insert anything that looks like a rabbit, dolphin, monkey, bear, insect, feline, rodent, pachyderm, magical creature, feathered friend or any other animal in ANY hole. Ever. I know what they're trying to do...make it cute! But I don't like it, and since mostly all vibes have some sort of animal theme I couldn't not buy a new waterproof vibe with a dolphin clit stimulator bullet. I have yet to use it BTW, I'll tell ya how it is soon.

Here are some of the most common examples, and a few from left field. I'm sure they all feel awesome, and everyone has their own wants and likes. But I just can't dig it. At least its just the bullets...most of them.

The rabbit is a quick animal, thus it has quick intense vibrations from its ears and gets you off.

Blush crush
The butterfly, dragonfly, ladybug, caterpillar, flutters over your clit.

Fluttering butterfly

Devinn Lane’s thrusting dragonfly™

Lady bug vibe - jelly
The beaver the same, but with his tail.

Royal romp™
The elephant uses his trunk to make you tremble.

Mini water gems™ smokey
The panther bats at it like a kitten bats at a ball of yarn.

Pearl panther™
I don't know what the monkey is doing, I assume he's using his tail (and it better be, I don't want no monkey penis).

Charlie the chimp™
A bear uses its tongue like it's licking up honey (sexy I know).

Waterproof tickle bear™
Birds peck at it. This does not sound appatizing.

Rockin’ robin™
The dolphin is used on waterproof toys. They're water loving animals...get it? I get it...but I don't like it!

Wall bangers deluxe dolphin
Lastly the not so popular ones but entertaining: Seals, dragons, snakes, pineapples (WTF), kangaroos, fairies, seahorses, I'm sure if I look hard enough I could find Jesus and Mother Mary. And gnomes...yes...theres a gnome.

Naughty gnome

Eden™ waterproof tropical G pineapple

Triple action seahorse

Kangaroo Rabbit vibrator by Vibratex


I much rather fuck this. The Pearl Knob by Vibratex

Affordable, not pink, and there is no animal rubbing up against my special spot. Sadly I don't have that, I have an update version of the Wall bangers deluxe dolphin. I'm excited to use it. Excited to be convinced that animal shaped bullets are worth my money.

I also need a new box to hold all my toy and fun stuff. I've out grown mine. I love toy shopping.

Til next time my loves!

P.S. All toys can be found on Eden Fantasys. It's an awesome site, use it!

Honey I know, I know, I know times are changing

When the day is hot and muggy, I'm a busy worker bee, work sucks, I hurt all over and I start my period on the worst possible day...Prince is there to make the end of that horrible day less horrible. Thank you Purple Rain...I feel relaxed and groovy. Now lets dance to some Little Red Corvette.

Use all your well-learned politesse, Or Ill lay your soul to waste

Haven't blogged in a while. Mostly because of one big reason. RAGNAROK! It's all I can think of, so why babble on about it?

Past few weeks have involved working, hanging with Zac, his SoCal cousin Ben, Charity, yard work, and planning. I have so many lists to fill! I love it...yes I know I'm a OCD freak but I'll have everything I need. Lets hope.

I am very very VERY excited... =D Look at this awesome new tent of mine. Room for me, my crap, and a friendly a friend.

Pillow Stuffed with Bunnies

"I need your input on what tent I should buy."

"I see. Well if you really think about it...divide by 2...take in account the rotation of the sun...read War and Peace...if you really want my thoughts. The blue one."

Adding this to the list of funny and amusing quotes from Zac. =P

I want to know the glory or how boring it is beneath your skin

The weather has be B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!! Hell, just doing chores and spring cleaning outside I'm enjoying. Minus raking. I hate to rake. Cleaned out the yard bins, found a BUNCH of camp stuff. And you know what that means; start collecting for Rag! I'm such an OCD girl, but I know if I don't start now I'll be running around like a mental patient the night before. I'm pretty sure I've got everything I need for camp minus the tent. The tent is kinda important. I get paid this week (I think) and I'll buy my tent with that. And we all know (or you do now) that I researched the fuck out of my tent. I can't just go out to one store, look at a tent in my price range and proclaim "THATS IT! Ring it up Charlie!" I spent a week looking at tents at different stores/sites, think I found the one I want. Zac and I may go out to some sporting goods store (we have none here in MV) and do some more shopping. Plus we needs garb.

And thats what I did yesterday, got out all my garb to see what I have and what I don't. I have a shit-ton of skirts and no shirts. The shirts I do have no longer fit/look good. At least by themselves, this means I'll being wearing my corset(s) the whole time. May be hot, but I'll look hot. BONUS! heh. The downside of losing weight and not having the available funds to buy new clothing. Zac may be generous and get me a few new things, he's awesome like that. <3

Almost got my $60 of saved pocket change for pre-reg Ragnarok. I'm thinking by Rag I'll have a some extra for spending. And I know the parents will help with that. Thank God for them. I really do have the best parents in the world.

So unless something interesting and epic happens in the next 36 days, all I'll be writing about is Ragnarok and Dagorhir. I may or may not be excited. I miss my Militia.

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green

It's a bright, beautiful sunny day and all I want to go it be inside with the curtains drawn and be alone. Maybe it because I'm bleeding. Maybe it because of my money problems. Maybe it's because Zac is home but busy. Maybe its because of some other problems. Maybe it's all of the above. I work, I work in the yard, I eat, I watch tv and movies, I sleep. A few times Zac steals me away and I go outside. He can always make me smile, he's always had that power.

I wanna visit My Hetero-Life mate. But I'm so poor it would be boring as hell, and I'd love to go out or something.

I promise world, I'll come out soon.

You're All The Things I've Got To Remember

Hai thar blog! Did you miss me? I missed you...I know...I've been a very bad girl not updating you. But you like it when I'm bad. It turns you on...

Ok, enough with the dirty talk to inanimate objects.

I have nothing to report really. Zaccy is home. It's bliss...most of the time. We play, hang, and chat. I missed him so much, I'm not over him being home yet. I glomp him on a daily basis with said excuse. No one has any idea how much I love and missed him. I have a few best friends, but none know me as well as him and no one ever will.

In other news my fling is over. I need to focus.

Work is.......work. I enjoy it actually. I love shopping for people, it's kind of awesome. I'm not caught up on my debts yet. Not even close. I'm trying to save, but I don't work much or get paid much and all my money goes straight to paying bills. *sigh* I miss getting tips. Boobs were good for such things. Yay boobies.

The weather has been wonderful the past few days. Wonder how long it will last eh? I haven't gotten the chance to really play in it. Mostly yard work. Which is what I'll be doing today. Zac has/had drill this weekend (and on his b-day! sucks) so no BFF to play with. The talk is there might be a lil chillin today when he gets home. Of next week, neither of us work. Fun times will ensue. Good weather mean a trip to the Columbus Zoo!!! Mom and I go every year. Last year we went in April...it snowed. Yay Ohio?


So did I cover everything? Love, work, weather, friends, family....oh! Sex!

FIRST ADULT THEMED BLOG ENTRY!!
BE WARNED!!!!!!

Well...kinda...first adult themed blurb in a blog entry. Yay penis! I has a sore booty.

OK kiddies! Go outside and play! It's beautiful! And wear sunscreen!!

P.S: Is it time for Ragnarok yet?!?!?

'Cause you've taken too much time, To show me that you're mine

Ah yes…at least once, every girl needs to go through the drunk ex-significant other phone call. The one where they tell you that they’re happy for you and whatever you’re doing or whomever you’re with. And that they are your best friend and always will be. But they love you, you were and are the best thing to ever happen to them and they’re sorry that they messed up and lost you. And if in the future things don’t work and I want to come back, they are there waiting.

A little late…don’t ya think?

Well he’s still my best friend.

And we’ll see how things go when he’s home and we start hanging out again.

And not drunk.

He kinda had his chance…more than once.

Oh Baby You're A Classic

5 Days…Yup…5 whole days util my soldier boy comes home. Zac has been in San Antonio, Texas doing that Army thing. AIT…whatever it is. When he talks about the army, I turn into a dumb girl. None of it makes sense to me, but I nod and listen like a good friend. I try to get the gist of it all, so that all of my questions aren’t that stupid. I can’t tell you how long it took for me to remember “AIT”. I still don’t know what it stands for. All I know is that my best friend (and ex-boyfriend) is in Texas training to be a medic and when he comes back he’s gonna look damn good. I hope his butt is still there, he always had a nice butt.

Theres gonna be some tension…we’ll see how that is when we come to it. One thing at a time, but I’m not worried. Honestly I’m just excited to hang out with him again, we have the best time. I’ve got plans for him…trips to shopping, dinner, movies, events, and practices. I think we’re gonna start a workout schedule. Working out with a soldier…oh God, I’m gonna die.

On another note, 3rd official day of work today. Did really well, boss lady said I kicked ass. Feet not killing me as bad as the first day. Stayed in my super cute yellow heals all day. Oh and my ass looked delicious in my new black pants. Good hair day too. But I had a point about mentioning work…the music. Usually you hear one of two genres of music in stores, pertaining to the ambiance and product in the store. FB is now strictly misses and plus, no more juniors and girls. But the tunes…I was expecting oldies and alt-rock, adult contemporary type stuff. Like the lame ass radio station we have here in town. But holy shit, that tape sounds like my MP3 player on random…although I wouldn’t listen to some of this stuff. I made notes on what I heard:

In Succession:

• Abba
• Backstreet Boys
• Blink 182
• Prince
• Steely Dan
• Velvet Revolver
• Billy Joel
• Alicia Keys
• Panic At The Disco
• Van Halen
• John Mayer
• Bob Marley
• James Brown

I donno, I found it interesting. I sing and dance around the store. The customers seem to enjoy it.

Water Is Good For You

A quote/comment from a friend on this photo The Ides of March event. It make me laugh so hard. (lol hard)

"LOOK AT THAT FUCKING WATER. SWALLOW THAT SHIT DOWN, SON. FEEL THAT HYDRATION? IT'S H20H-SO-GOOD. THIS AIN'T SOME PUSSY AQUAFINA BOTTLE. WE'VE GOT A MOTHERFUCKING GALLON OF AQUEOUS BADASSITUDE FOR YOU TO WRAP YOUR DRY-ASS HUSK OF A FACE AROUND. YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID? AQUEOUS. IT COMES FROM THE LATIN WORD FOR WATER. ROMANS DRANK WATER AND THEY STABBED PEOPLE TO DEATH ALL OVER EUROPE." - Grikk Bloodbeard

Thats some funny fucking shit mother fucker.